That's Not What I Heard
by Snapdragon-chan
Summary: Desperate to quell rumors that he's gay, Seto Kaiba 'hires' Anzu Mazaki to pose as his girlfriend for an unspecified length of time. Eventual SetoAnzu. [Chapter 10 up!]
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I own "Yu-Gi-Oh" about as much as I own the soul I sold to Satan a while back...  
  
Author's Note: I hope nobody thinks this is intended as a 'homophobic' or 'gay-bashing' fic. IT'S NOT. I'm a queer girl myself and would never want to send that message. Seto can't be perceived as gay because of his job, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with being gay. There's not. Some people may think so, but they're usually maddeningly narrow-minded anyway.  
  
Author's Other Note: I swear I don't know how this got taken down. Oh well. I'm getting it back up, or trying to ; Some 'slight' revisions have been made to the first chapter, but I hope it's still good.  
  
Chapter One  
  
"—and word has come from a very reliable source that Kaiba Seto may very well be gay."  
  
Kaiba Mokuba, sitting on the floor, consumed with boredom as he flipped through channels of the T.V. in his bedroom, immediately went back when he heard his older brother's name, wondering what was happening. It was some kind of quasi-news program devoted to celebrity gossip. Mokuba watched with increasing interest.  
  
"The CEO of Kaiba Corporation has been spotted kissing men all over Domino City."  
  
Mokuba's brow furrowed. That didn't sound like Seto at all. While it was true that Seto WAS occasionally 'all over' Domino, his reasons for being so usually had to do with either business or dueling, or else a strange combination of the two. And the older Kaiba was too married to his work to be kissing ANYBODY. But there, right on the television screen, a lady was showing (obviously doctored) photos of Seto kissing—and doing other, slightly more explicit—things with boys his own age as well as older men.  
  
"SETO!" Mokuba shrieked, dropping his remote.  
  
As soon as his blue-eyed older brother came running, however, Mokuba regretted calling him. Maybe it would serve Seto better not to know about any of this...  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked Mokuba, in what was for him an unusual display of concern.  
  
"I'm—fine," Mokuba said. "I... it's nothing. Forget about it, big brother."  
  
Seto frowned, unconvinced. Mokuba knew better than to scream through the mansion at the top of his lungs for no reason. "It didn't sound like nothing to m—"  
  
And that was when he saw the television. "Unbelievable!" he gasped. "Just—unbelievable!" For a few seconds the two Kaibas watched in silence before Mokuba spoke up.  
  
"Seto?" he said.  
  
But Seto simply continued to stare until the woman on T.V. moved onto another topic. "Are those rumors really THAT persistent?" The CEO shook his head.  
  
"Rumors?" Mokuba echoed questioningly.  
  
Seto sighed. "Nothing, little brother. It just appears some people have nothing better to do with their time than speculate about my romantic life and sexual orientation."  
  
Mokuba nodded, pretending to understand and trying to look understanding. "You know," he said, "I'd still love you, big brother, even if you were—uh—"  
  
"Gay?" Seto supplied, laughing. Mokuba nodded gratefully. "Well, that's wonderful to hear, but I assure you, Mokuba, that I'm not gay."  
  
"I know," replied the younger, shaggy-haired Kaiba. "But maybe if you had a girlfriend everyone else would know too." He climbed up off the floor to sit on his bed.  
  
Seto smirked slightly. The tall, thin boy sat on the bed beside his little brother. "Somehow I can't imagine you'd care for having a woman around the house."  
  
Mokuba supposed Seto had a point. "Well, you could still pay someone to ACT like she's your girlfriend. That way people wouldn't call you... you know, that thing..."  
  
"Gay?" Seto seemed amused. "That's a thought, perhaps. But who would I pay?"  
  
Mokuba considered this for a second. "What about that girl, Yuugi's friend? She's pretty..."  
  
"Mazaki?" Seto said distastefully. "I don't think so."  
  
"Why? What's wrong with her?" Mokuba asked.  
  
"Well," said Seto, "for one thing, as you've already noted, she is Yuugi's friend. For another, she can't stand me and would be only too happy to tell the entire world I'm a flaming homosexual. And besides"—he winked at his little brother—"she's a brunette. I don't go for brunettes."  
  
Mokuba looked skeptical. "You don't go for anyone," he pointed out.  
  
Seto rolled his eyes. "I haven't found anyone worth going for. And, what's more, I doubt I ever will—or, for that matter, ever want to."  
  
Mokuba waggled a playful finger. "I think that attitude's part of what's gotten you into this mess, big brother!" he 'chided' with a smile.  
  
"Mess?" Seto echoed, raising his brow, although he knew exactly what Mokuba was talking about. Having people suspect he was gay wouldn't be good for business—or his reputation at school—at all. True, gay or not, few of his classmates were brave enough tease Seto to his face. But he knew the whispering and giggling that would come to accompany him like a cloud every time he entered or exited a room would get aggravating quickly.  
  
"Yes." Mokuba nodded firmly. "Mess."  
  
Seto smiled slightly as he stood. "Well, then, while I finish the work that desperately needs my attention, I'll think about some way to fix the 'mess.' In the meantime, I highly suggest you find something more—appropriate—to watch instead of this trash." Pointedly, he handed Mokuba the remote that had still been lying on the floor. He really didn't know any way to sugarcoat his opinion of what his younger brother had been viewing—not that sugarcoating was something Seto generally made a habit out of, anyway.  
  
Mokuba blushed and nodded, taking the remote, knowing full well that his brother's 'suggestions' were often far more than implied.  
  
As Seto left the room and headed back towards his waiting office, he couldn't help musing that Mokuba might have something in paying someone to act like she was his girlfriend until all the idiotic rumors blew over.  
  
And Mazaki was terribly good-looking, brunette or not.  
  
Seto tried to purge his mind of all such foolish thoughts. 


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: Still don't own "Yu-Gi-Oh." It'd be nice if I had an extra soul to sell to Satan to GET "Yu-Gi-Oh."  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Although his fellow students managed to annoy him everyday, Kaiba found them especially unbearable the Monday after viewing the "news" program with Mokuba. At least three different girls had approached him nervously with the intention of asking him was he, you know, one of THOSE people. That was their intention, of course, but one arched eyebrow and an ominous "Yes?" from the CEO was enough to send the idiots giggling and scampering back to their desk or circle of friends, or wherever they'd come from.  
  
Oddly enough, Yuugi and his friends were the only ones who seemed not to care. Or not to know, although Kaiba doubted that, especially since every know and then the mutt and... Honda, was it?... would look over at him, and one of them would whisper something to the other, and they'd both start laughing. But none of Yuugi's friends approached him or, for that matter, acted like they wanted to. For the most part, they went about their day as they always did.  
  
At least up until lunchtime, when Yuugi sent Anzu over to Kaiba with an invitation to sit and their table and play Duel Monsters.  
  
"Play?" Kaiba'd scoffed, digging a book out of his backpack so he wouldn't have to look her in the face. "One doesn't 'play' Duel Monsters, Mazaki. And for that matter, 'playing' anything is for children. And even so, I wouldn't 'play' with a group of slobbering, pathetic morons such as you and your--"  
  
"Oh, listen to you!" Anzu interrupted snappishly, putting her hands on her hips. "STILL acting all high and mighty." Kaiba's brow raised behind his book at her use of 'still.' "You know, Yuugi was worried about you. You had him thinking you were some kind of 'victim of the media,' afraid you might be embarrassed or feeling sorry for yourself. But no, you're as arrogant and obnoxious as ever--"  
  
This time it was Kaiba's turn to interrupt as he set down his book. "I beg your pardon, but I didn't 'have' Yuugi thinking anything. His television did, or the puppy did. What conclusions Yuugi might draw from his surroundings are none of my concern."  
  
Anzu sighed. "You could still come over and sit with him for a little bit. Just so he knows you're okay... as okay as you ever are, anyway."  
  
"Am I supposed to be insulted?" Kaiba shook his head with a small smile, his eyes glittering. "Really, Mazaki, that's one of the--" He was cut off by the strange sensation of a hand pressing against his arm. Anzu was grabbing-- no, not grabbing, just gently touching-- Kaiba in attempt to get his attention.  
  
Well, she had it.  
  
"Kaiba Seto, I don't know what your problem is with people caring about you, but please, will you put it aside for five seconds and come show Yuugi you don't feel bad?"  
  
"Yuugi ought to know that I never feel bad."  
  
Anzu's hand slowly left Kaiba's arm. He couldn't imagine why he wished she would put it back; it wasn't as though he enjoyed the sensation. "Well, come show him that!" she said through gritted teeth. "I understand if you don't want him to beat you in front of everybody-- you don't have to duel him--"  
  
That made the hairs on the back of the CEO's neck prickle. He could beat Yuugi! He could beat anybody! ESPECIALLY Yuugi! Just because Yuugi had won several times in the past did NOT mean Yuugi would win every match he played against Kaiba. And he fought with all his self-restraint to refrain from screaming that at Anzu.  
  
Instead, biting his lip, Kaiba said slowly, "If I do this for you-- you know, actually have a genuine conversation with your filthy... friends of yours, as you call them-- then you'll have to do something for me."  
  
Anzu's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about, Kaiba?"  
  
Kaiba smiled, but only slightly. He stood, relishing his height advantage over the girl for a second or two before leaning and whispering in her ear.  
  
Anzu's eyes went as wide as saucers. "You want me to pretend to be your WHAT?!"  
  
Kaiba cringed. "Shh!" he said, putting a finger to his lips. "Not so damn loud! And... yes."  
  
"So you DO care what they think about you," Anzu said slowly. There was surprise in her voice, but also undertones of irritating smugness.  
  
Kaiba snorted. "Hardly. But if people go on thinking this kinds of things, what do you think the future will be for my company?" When Anzu remained silent, he said, "All right, since you apparently lack the intelligence necessary to think for yourself and hence coherently answer nonrhetorical questions, I'll tell you: Not good." He shook his head, hoping nobody was listening to them. But then again, the cafeteria was always so insanely loud he didn't understand how anyone COULD be listening to them. "Being gay is still considered quite scandalous by the majority of the public. People who run companies that make products-- like me-- cannot afford to be viewed as scandalous by the public or by their buyers because then nobody buys their products. Do you follow me?"  
  
"Yes," Anzu said patiently, although Kaiba noticed when she rolled her eyes.  
  
"So, I can't afford to look gay. And I feel it necessary to add that I'm NOT gay, anyhow, so that's all the more reason I don't need to have people thinking I am." He straightened slightly.  
  
Anzu hid a smile with her hand, and Kaiba had to privately wonder what was so funny. "I believe you," she said. "But you'll have a harder time convincing Jonouchi."  
  
This time it was Kaiba who did the eye rolling. "Why would I want to convince the mutt of anything?"  
  
That apparently made Anzu angry. "Listen, Kaiba... if I act like I'm your-- girlfriend" -- she spat out the word like it had a bad taste to it -- "you have to be nice to my friends. And I don't mean just ignore them. I mean you've got to be NICE to them." For a second Anzu looked as though she was thinking. "And you can't call Jonouchi a mutt. Or a dog. Or-- or anything like that."  
  
Kaiba looked as though he'd just been given the death sentence. "Be nice-- nice to-- to THEM?" He gestured in the direction of the table where Anzu's friends were sitting.  
  
Anzu nodded. "After all, I wouldn't date a guy who treated my friends like trash."  
  
"Fine," Kaiba finally consented irritably, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"Fine," Anzu countered. "And afterwards, you can go back to being a tremendous jerk like always."  
  
"If that's the case, then let's hope this arrangement is very short-lived," Kaiba said. And he felt it necessary to add, "And I am more than perfectly capable of beating a duelist of Yuugi's caliber."  
  
Anzu shot Kaiba a nasty look. "Then why don't you go prove it, HONEY?" she said.  
  
"Perhaps I ought to, DEAR," Kaiba sneered. He was already beginning to regret the "girlfriend" he'd selected. He'd just have to keep telling himself it was for his beloved corporation's sake.


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: I talked to Satan about that whole "additional soul" thing. And the owning "Yu-Gi-Oh!" thing. He basically told me no freakin' way.  
  
Author's Note: Many, MANY thanks to EVERYONE who has reviewed, because you guys keep me going. I'll probably start doing individual responses at the ends or beginnings of chapters... when I'm no longer lazy and retarded like I am now... (And I'm sorry this installment took so damn long! *sweatdrop*)  
  
***  
  
Chapter 3  
  
When Kaiba did not immediately go rushing for Yugi and company, Anzu grabbed him by the hand and tugged him in the direction of her friends. "Remember what you promised me," she whispered to him.  
  
"Maza-- Anzu, no matter what mental disabilites Jonouchi may suffer from, the rest of the world is perfectly capable of remembering a promise made little over five minutes ago."  
  
"Then how come you're already breaking it?" Anzu said. They were a little more than halfway to the table now.  
  
"I'm not," Kaiba replied haughtily. "You said I had to be nice TO them, you didn't say anything about how I'm to conduct myself behind their backs."  
  
Anzu sighed. "Fine," she conceded, irritated. She didn't want to waste energy arguing with Kaiba NOW when she might need to waste it arguing with him LATER. Kaiba, for his part, smirked and looked especially smug as he allowed himself to be guided towards Anzu's friends' table.  
  
"Now, remember," she warned him as she sat down, leaving him standing awkwardly beside the table, "be GOOD."  
  
Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Don't speak to me that way," he hissed. "*I'm* not the dog here." Jonouchi apparently overheard that remark because he raised his eyebrows and glared at Kaiba. Well, glared at Kaiba even more than he usually did, anyway.  
  
Anzu glared too. But, "I'm warning you, Seto...," was all she said.  
  
Yugi, Honda and Jonouchi all looked slightly confused. Honda stared at Anzu as if to ask, 'Since when are you and Kaiba on a first-name basis?'  
  
"Kaiba-kun," Yugi said, attempting a smile, "how are you feeling today?" There were Duel Monsters cards spread randomly around the table, indicating a duel had been in progress at one point, although they didn't seem to be having one now.  
  
Kaiba contemplated all the possibly sarcastic ways he could answer that question, but remembering Anzu's presence, finally settled on, simply, "I'm feeling like I want to sit down." He shot a look in Anzu's direction as he said this; her occupation of the last remaining seat at the table had not gone unnoticed by Kaiba.  
  
Anzu responded to his look with a sweet smile. "Oh? I'm sorry, *Seto-san*... were you trying to say something to me?"  
  
Jonouchi's eyes nearly popped out of his skull, which would've amused Kaiba quite a bit if he hadn't currently been so annoyed.  
  
Kaiba shot her an icy glare. "No, no, I was merely answering Yugi's question, *sweetheart*."  
  
This time it was Yugi's eyes who did the popping as Honda fell out of his chair. Kaiba, never missing an oppurtunity, practically dove into Honda's now-vacant chair as Yugi said, "Kaiba-kun... are you and Anzu...?"  
  
"Sort of," said Anzu at the same time Kaiba said, "Not exactly."  
  
Yugi blinked, Honda (from his position on the ground) raised an eyebrow and Jonouchi said, "What the hell d'ya mean, 'not exactly?' You're either datin' or ya ain't." He was eyeing Kaiba disgustedly, prompting the young millionaire to think, 'Well, it's not as though *I've* got fleas.' And only Anzu prevented him from actually saying it; and not even she could prevent him from returning Jonouchi's glare for all it was worth.  
  
"We're *not* dating," Anzu said, adding quickly, "at least, not really. I'm doing Kaiba-kun a... favor, I guess you could call it--" She blushed, causing Honda and Jonouchi's eyes to widen considerably once more while Yugi just blinked, brows slightly raised.  
  
"Jou... he's not gay... he's porkin' Anzu," Honda said as he stood, willing to forgive Kaiba for taking his seat only because the executive had just won him a bet. "You owe me a cigarette."  
  
"Damn!" Jonouchi swore.  
  
"What... kind... of favor, Anzu?" Yugi asked quietly, a hint of wariness in his voice.  
  
Kaiba put his face in his hands, wishing he could just leave already. But they might drop the entire horrible topic and start dueling, and when they did, he wanted to be around to kick some serious...  
  
"I'mpretendingtobehisgirlfriend," Anzu said in one breath, blush deepening. "So you guys... you have to... you've got to go along with it. Please!"  
  
"Pretending and apparently doing a perfectly hideous job of it," Kaiba snapped, face still in hands. "You're not supposed to go off telling the entire world that you're pretending!" He sighed and he pulled his hands away, trying to keep his facial expression cold.  
  
"I'm telling 'the world!'" Anzu retorted. "I'm only telling my friends. I think they have a right to know!"  
  
Kaiba 'hmmphed' but said nothing else. For a few minutes, anyhow, until he heard Jonouchi and Honda again.  
  
"They're just pretendin'," Jonouchi said. "He is gay. *You* owe *me* the cigarette, pal."  
  
Honda sighed and dug into his pocket as Jonouchi stood collect the cig.  
  
"I'm *not* gay," Kaiba snapped irritably. Both Honda and Jonouchi looked tempted to say something sarcastic, but they just looked at each other and snickered instead. Honda grudgingly pressed the cigarette into Jonouchi's open palm.  
  
The CEO wanted to strangle both of them.  
  
Yugi was smiling at Anzu. "I think that's nice of you," he was saying. Anzu was beaming and Kaiba wasn't sure if he should merely roll his eyes in disgust or leave the table altogether. He opted for the latter until Anzu, who, even though she was still gazing at Yugi, apparently knew what he was up to and took hold of his sleeve to tug him back down (an action of hers that invoked not only Kaiba's irritation but that of Honda as well, who was really looking forward to having his chair once again).  
  
"Where are you going, *Seto*?" she asked, reveling in her new ability to freely use his first name.  
  
"Somewhere where I won't be forced to deal with such lunacy!" he said even as he sat. "If my domineering wife doesn't mind, of course, I'd much prefer *not* to occupy a table where morons are currently taking bets on who I like to sleep with."  
  
Anzu and Yugi exchanged a grin, which didn't surprise Kaiba at all. They turned at him with the same grin, which DID surprise him, if only a little. He wasn't sure if the grin was supposed to be sympathetic or conspiratorial, and he didn't care. He just wanted to leave and couldn't see why that was such a problem. If just pretending to date Anzu meant spending more than five seconds with her friends, Kaiba pitied the man who would actually wind up with her and be forced to socialize for minutes-- hours-- on end with the lot of idiots.  
  
"I don't *mind*. I was just wondering why you changed your mind about wanting to duel Yugi."  
  
Damn. Kaiba froze for a second before saying, "I can't duel. I don't have my deck with me," and started to stand again, adding quickly, "And I *refuse* to borrow the mutt's!"  
  
Jonouchi yelped indignantly and said something along the lines of, "Hey, I don't want Moneybags' grubby hands on my cards anyway!"  
  
Honda dove into his seat again just as Anzu pulled Kaiba back down once more.  
  
Honda was not happy to have Kaiba seated in his lap. Blushing slightly, he shouted, "OFF! GET OFF!" and gave the CEO a hard shove.  
  
Kaiba, who had looked quite preturbed to be seated in another male's lap, looked even more preturbed to be landing on his bum with a soft 'thump.'  
  
The young businessman could feel the cafeteria's eyes on him as, seething inwardly, he stood and began to brush himself off. His glare went first to Honda but then moved to rest on Anzu. "I don't know why you thought that would be funny, *Anzu*," he said in a low hiss, "but it wasn't. I'm not dating you to make myself look like even more of a flaming queer, you know!"  
  
With that, he grabbed his briefcase and his things, turning sharply on his heel, headed for their next class. The bell was going to ring in a few minutes, anyhow, and he didn't think he could stay in the lunchroom any longer.  
  
Anzu couldn't help but feel vaguely guilty, despite her amusement at the situation. She hadn't mean to do that... it was nothing more than sheer bad timing...  
  
Well, at least she knew exactly how to make the situation up to Kaiba-- despite that, until that day, she'd never anticipated having to make anything up to *Kaiba*, of all people. 


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: I'm still begging Satan to give me a break and not send me to hell. And if I can change his mind about that, maybe I can convince the Prince of Darkness I deserve "Yu-Gi-Oh!" as well.

Author's Note: Thanks go out to

Miryoku - Don't worry, you'll see what Anzu will do to make it up to him...

Azurite - "Ridiculously in-character." giggles You have no idea how much that pleased me!

Malik Fan 03 - Soon enough for ya?

Candance - Thanks. Glad you liked Honda and Jou (or Tristan and Joey, if you prefer).

Just this once - Thank you!!!

Selena Style - Well, thank you :) It's really nice to hear from you (someone who doesn't normally like this pairing) that I'm doing a good job with it.

Serenity Komoshiro - Thanks for the review!

The Truth - Aww, I love your reviews. They're long and amusing and they help me a lot.

angelus-2040 - Hmm... normally I'd say you definitely shouldn't laugh at other people's expense... but since this IS labeled "humor"...

Lady Dragon 636 - I think I already gave you permission to put this up :) I'm flattered you asked. And yeah, Kaiba will be having quite a bit of "fun"... if you want to call it that.

hieiandbotan4ever - Thanks!

Dragon Faere - Of course I'll continue!

Loyal to S/A - Glad I made you laugh .

Geniusgirl; The Original - Hey, thanks! Reviews like yours help me improve. And, yeah, I think my chapters should be longer too ;;; I should get to working on that, don't ya think?

GwenKelly - You're welcome! I liked your story! By the way, are you familiar with "Yu-Gi-Oh!" sub/Japanese names or should I explain who everyone is?

Author's Note #2: Ugh... I don't think this is as good as previous chapters, so please bear with me anyway.

Chapter 4

When Anzu and her friends walked back into the classroom, Seto was leaning against a window, talking into his cell phone, apparently making a business call. He looked up to shoot them an angry glare, but Anzu returned it with a smile. She knew exactly what to do the second he was off that phone.

By the time he'd hung up, most of the class had filed into the room and they were just waiting for the teacher. Anzu knew that was for the best; if she was going to walk over and kiss him, best to do so in front of a fairly large crowd of students, right? Because the whole reason they were even doing this was just to send a certain message, project a certain image.

She swallowed. "Wish me luck," she told her friends.

"Why?" asked Jonouchi.

"Luck," said Yugi, although he was plainly as confused as Jonouchi.

Sucking her breath in and making a valiant attempt at smiling, Anzu approached Kaiba's desk. He turned to her with an annoyed stare that quickly turned to a questioning glance when she began to slowly tug him up by the shirt collar. She wasn't strong enough to force him if he was going to resist, of course-- but fortunately, Kaiba put up very little resistance.

Not even when she tilted his head down and pressed her lips against his, fiercely, even going so far as to shove her tongue inside his mouth. Briefly, Anzu wondered what he was thinking about the whole thing but decided he'd just better be damn grateful because people were staring, wide-eyed, perplexed, and she was risking her reputation now just to save his.

And he'd never even kept his end of the bargain about being nice to her friends. Well, she'd see to he stuck to that later, and--

Anzu tried to remember just what she'd been thinking when it occurred to her that Kaiba was a pretty good kisser for somebody who'd apparently had very little practice. But... tongue... more tongue... no, less tongue! Less tongue! Was he aware he was shoving that thing down her throat? There... better... good... very good!

She was blushing furiously when she pulled away for air. She was expecting the class to titter, or giggle, or make smart comments, but nobody said anything. Even Jonouchi, Honda, and Yugi were silent, although Anzu privately suspected it wouldn't take Jonouchi and Honda long to find their voices.

Kaiba was looking at her, both brows raised, but his face was otherwise expressionless, and Anzu found herself wishing he'd blush at least a little bit too. Not that she'd ever seen Kaiba blush, she reflected, even when he seemed embarrassed or upset.

But that wasn't the point! She didn't want to be the only one affected this way. She didn't want to be the only one whose faced was flushed, whose heart was racing. Why _was _her heart racing, anyway?

Nerves. It had to be nerves. Nervousness.

"Miss Masaki! Mr. Kaiba! What is the meaning of this?"

The teacher. The teacher, who apparently had been standing there for at least the past few minutes.

Anzu found herself unable to look at anything other than her feet as she slowly turned to stammer in the teacher's general direction, "I... um... it's... it's not what it... I mean-- we-- it's not exactly what it looks like..."

"Oh, no?" The teacher put her hand on her hips and pursed her lips. "I think you'll have a very difficult time explaining that to the principal."

Anzu found the guts to look over her shoulder at Kaiba. His face was passive, unemotional, although an unidentifiable emotion flittered through the depths of his eyes.

He's got such pretty blue eyes, Anzu thought before she mentally slapped herself. He did NOT have pretty blue eyes. He was Kaiba, and Kaiba and pretty anything did not belong in the same train of thought.

"Unless you can give me a good reason for why you were behaving so lewdly just now," the teacher continued hotly.

"We were-- um--" Anzu flushed deeply.

"Sociology assignment," Kaiba answered with a slight yawn. A yawn. Anzu could hardly believe it; here she was, blushing like crazy and unable to lift her eyes from the floor, and Kaiba was just yawning as though he got caught making out by a teacher and subsequently offered the lamest possible excuse in the world everyday.

The teacher glowered. "Nice try, Mr. Kaiba, but you're in sociology, and I **certainly **did not assign any such 'assignments'! PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! BOTH OF YOU! **NOW**!"

Anzu managed a weak, "Yes, ma'am," as she nodded and, lifting her head, determined not to leave the classroom scurrying or blushing, slowly and deliberately headed for the door. She paused in the doorway to wait for Kaiba, deciding she would yell at him when they were outside, because _someone _needed to yell at Kaiba.

Kaiba's only response to all this was to rub his temple as though slightly annoyed and head for the door, even more slowly than Anzu had. With an irritatingly cocky swagger to his step, no less, than suggested nobody and nothing got to Seto Kaiba.

At least that **was** how he behaved until Yugi, Jonouchi and Honda, grinning like maniacs, stood and gave him a standing ovation, prompting the rest of the class to join in and do the same. The CEO shot them a nasty glare before he lifted a hand to his face to shield his slightly reddening cheeks from the rest of the class as he hurried to join Anzu in the doorway.

When the door slammed shut behind them and the teacher tried desperately to restore order to the rest of her students, Anzu turned to shout at Kaiba.

Except he shouted at her first.

"WHAT were you thinking?" he demanded. "I've never gotten sent to the office in my LIFE. Don't you think the media's going to have a field day with this? Instead of gay, I'll be called a womanizer, which is even WORSE!"

Anzu bit her lip. "Don't you have to kiss more than one girl to be a womanizer?" she said. "Besides... it's not like you can't say I came onto you. A whole classroom full of people saw **me** kiss **you **first." She sighed. "And it's not like I get sent to the office on a regular basis either, you know." Their eyes met and Anzu's gaze hardened into a glare. "And you seemed to be enjoying just fine in there!"

Kaiba smirked, saying nothing. Inwardly, he supposed she had something of a point... the girl wasn't a bad kisser, really.

He wondered if she'd had a lot of experience in that department before internally scolding himself that it wasn't any of his business and he didn't care anyway.

"That teacher'll never look at me the same way again," Anzu said, fighting to keep the groan out of her voice. She was embarrassed almost to the point of tears and couldn't believe she'd just done what she'd _done._

She was even more disbelieving when Kaiba put a comforting arm around her shoulders, saying, "Now, would that really be such a bad thing?" He winked. "Do you want to be known as a good girl forever?"

"I'm perfectly content to be thought of as a good girl!" Anzu told him as she turned to look in his face, but she smiled appreciatively all the same. But the sight of someone smiling at him must've reminded Kaiba he was an ice-cold bastard, because he suddenly grunted, withdrew his arm and turned away.

She smiled a little. "At least nobody'll call you gay anymore," she said timidly. Kaiba didn't reply. "Kai-- Seto?" Anzu ventured, and his first name wasn't a taunt.

"They probably will," he said quietly, "at least for a few more days. Not that my sexual orientation should matter to my competitors at all, mind you, but it does." But he shrugged as though the entire ordeal was of no _real _importance to him. "Or, if they DO drop the entire gay rumor-- which they probably won't-- they'll twist this entire event around and my public image will go from having no interest in women to not be able to control my raging hormones when I'm around them. You've really screwed me over, you know." And he sounded once again like the Seto Kaiba she knew and, um, knew and didn't exactly love.

"I'm sorry." Anzu swallowed.

"You're forgiven," he said, looking ahead, not facing her. She expected him to apologize too, for being so mean to her friends, for not recognizing that she'd at least MEANT well, but he didn't.

Please, Anzu! This is Kaiba you're talking to. The word "sorry" is not in his vocabulary.

When they arrived at their intended destination, gently pushing open the wooden door with a plaque labeled PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE, the secretary looked up at them and blinked in obvious surprise. "Mr. Kaiba?" she asked. "And Miss...?" She squinted at the face of the unfamiliar young woman.

"Mazaki," Anzu supplied.

"Mr. Kaiba and Miss Mazaki. What brings you here?"

"Um..." Anzu looked sidelong at Kaiba, hoping he'd be gentlemanly enough to explain the situation.

And he did, sort of, or at least much as a cold, "Our teacher is a witch. That's what brings us here," explained the situation. So much for gentlemanliness, Anzu supposed. But at least Kaiba was good at always keeping a straight face.


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: Leave me alone till I get this whole situation with the Prince of Darkness figured out, all right?

Author's Note: Thanks to **Trust,Faith,Pixidust**, **tea/anzufan**, **Geniusgirl****; The Original**,** Vaz1201 and Demona**, **mezu**, **Requiem of Spirit**, **Malik**** Fan 03**, **Selena Style**, **Choas**** Babe**, **HieilovesBotan**, **Lady Dragon636**, **GwenKeely**, **Azurite**, **Serenity Komoshiro**, **Candance**, and **Miryoku**for the inspiring reviews!

Chapter 5

The secretary raised her eyebrow, looking at Kaiba, who only crossed his arms and smirked in return. But since it _was _Kaiba, who probably could and would sue the school if he had to, she only shook her head and muttered something about kids these days, before telling Kaiba and Anzu to please have a seat, because the principal would be with them shortly.

Anzu did as she was told, hissing at Kaiba to do the same.

He rolled his eyes but ultimately gave into her whispered naggings, collapsing into the chair beside hers.

"I hope we don't get expelled," Anzu told Kaiba sourly, crossing her arms over his chest.

"We won't," he replied with a smirk. "Of course, _you _might."

Anzu glowered at him. "That's it! One more wisecrack like that and I'm going to tell everyone you rejected me because you like boys." She was bluffing, of course—not even to a jerk like Kaiba would Anzu ever be that cruel. But maybe Kaiba didn't know that…

Kaiba raised a brow and said, with aggravating calmness, "Would you really?"

"Y-Yes," Anzu said, and immediately she knew her stammer had betrayed her.

Kaiba started to laugh aloud. "This is entirely your fault."

"My fault? It's yours!"

"How is it mine? You kissed me! I was a defenseless victim!"

"Defenseless victim my foot! You wanted it and you know it!"

"You still kissed me first!"

"But you put me up to--!" Anzu stopped. "You're not going to deny that you wanted it?"

Kaiba didn't answer. Instead, the CEO snorted and shook his head, looking at his watch for a moment. "How long do you suppose 'shortly' is?" he murmured. "If this man keeps me waiting for too long—"

"He's busy," Anzu said. "He's got a lot to do! He can't drop whatever he's doing just to convenience you."

As if her words were some kind of cue, the principal immediately appeared in view. "Why don't the two of you step inside my office and tell me why your teacher sent you out of her class?"

Kaiba rose first. It took Anzu a few seconds to push herself out of the chair and even then, she leaned against Kaiba to steady herself for a few seconds.

The glance he shot her was almost murderous, but fortunately, she left go soon enough that he didn't need to resort to actual violence. 

They followed the principal—who took a seat behind his desk—into his small, dimly-lit office. There was only one other available seat, which Anzu took; Kaiba smiled patronizingly and  leaned against the wall, acting as though the entire world was wasting his precious time.

"I have a lot of students to get through," said the principal—a fat, slightly balding man—impatiently. "So let's make this as quick as possible. Why were you two sent out of your sociology class?"

"We were—" Anzu started, but Kaiba interrupted her.

"How did you know we came from sociology?"

The principal sighed. "If you must know, your teacher has already called my office and told me everything."

Anzu's eyes widened. _Damn, _she thought.

Kaiba made a strange noise. "So if you already know everything, why even bother asking us?" he asked. "Weren't you the one who wanted to make this 'as quick as possible?'"

"I thought you might be interested in giving me your side of the story—"

"I think I would be interested in not spending anymore time here than I have to," Kaiba said darkly. Only he could ever speak so boldly to a school administrator, and Anzu inwardly shook her head, somehow—and almost sadly—aware that eventually his luck might run out.

"Really, now?" the principal said, and Anzu couldn't tell if it was shock, irritation or amusement in his voice. 

Kaiba's eyes did all the answering for him.

"Well, given what I've been hearing about _you _recently," the principal said, looking away from Kaiba's gaze but indicating the CEO with a wave of the hand, "I'm inclined to disbelieve at least part of this. Still, I'd like to remind the two of you that underage dating IS against school rules."

Anzu giggled as she took Kaiba by the arm, guiding him out of the office. "Well… that wasn't so bad…"

His jaw was hanging down. "I can't believe he SAID that to me!"

"After all you said to him, you're lucky he didn't say worse." Anzu smiled, but then she felt a bit guilty. "Listen, I'll make it up to you—"

"You're going to kiss me again as soon as we walk back into the classroom?"

"No." Anzu sighed. "I'm going to let you take me out to dinner."

Kaiba was tempted to explain absolutely everything that was fundamentally wrong with that statement, but instead he just sighed, almost defeatedly. "Fine, fine," he said.

Anzu beamed. "You can pick me up at eight. And don't be late."

Kaiba gave her what was possibly the nastiest look in recorded history. "No," he said flatly. "YOU will arrive at MY house no later than seven-thirty. And you'll be dressed in something appropriate—nothing too revealing _or _too plain."

Anzu blinked. "And I suppose I'll have to meet your parents?" she coughed.

Kaiba rolled his eyes. "Oh, you're funny!" Brief pause. "I do expect you to talk to Mokuba for a little bit, though. I couldn't have a girlfriend he didn't approve of, after all."

"Oh…" Anzu said quietly, then smiled. "Well, all right, I guess if you want to act like the woman in this twisted excuse for a 'relationship,' you can."

That earned her the second-nastiest look in all of recorded history.


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Something, something, something about not owning 'Yu-Gi-Oh.'

Author's Note: Thanks issued to **Ana**, **Rosemary-Rocketsabertooth**, **kaz**, **fOX-SPIRIT AKA Y.V**, **Messenger of Light**, **Mokuba's Official Glomper**, **dragonking**, **Geniusgirl; the Original**, **KeikoGirl**, **jarjayes**, **A Fan**, **Lady Dragon 636**, **deoki tenchi**, **Kerrie-chan**, **MotherChowGoddess **(if you're interested, I've posted a 'citrus fruit reference guide' at the bottom of the page), **HieilovesBotan**, **Malik Fan 03**, **Serenity Komoshimo**, **tea/anzufan**, **KaibaGirlSK**, **Vaz1201 and Demona**, **Anime-AngelWings**, **Loyal to S/A**, **Choas Babe**, **GwenKeely**, **Trust,Faith,Pixidust**, **PackLeaderT**, and **Samantha** (which, coincidentally, is my first name in real life. Whoa...).

Author's Note: Hmm. I'm not as fond of this chapter as I am of the others. 

Chapter 6

Mokuba was giggling hysterically as Seto tried to calm him down. "When is she going to be here?" he kept asking, a bit too eagerly for his older brother's comfort. His eyes twinkled mischievously and he seemed highly entertained that his brother had actually gone for his idea. ("I knew you would, nii-sama," he had assured the older boy confidentially earlier that day, when Seto had first revealed the events of his rather tumultuous day at school.) 

"Not for a while," Seto said, shaking his head. "It's only six. Calm down, Mokuba."

"I get to talk to her before you leave, right?"

"Of course you do." Seto sighed. "Now will you please _calm down?"_

Mokuba smiled and said amiably, "I am calm, Seto." Seto was stationed at his computer, trying to get as much work done as humanly possible before his 'date' later that evening (and silently cursing both Anzu and the media for putting him into a position where he had to take time off from his company), and as much as he enjoyed his younger brother's company, Mokuba was preventing him from getting a whole lot done.

And Anzu was the last thing Seto wanted to discuss at the moment, anyhow.

"Does she have nice legs?" Mokuba said suddenly.

"What?!" Seto finally turned away from his computer to face his brother.

"Yugi said she was a dancer, or liked dancing or something," Mokuba said innocently. "So I thought maybe she would have nice legs? Since, you know, dancers usually do." Seto thought he saw a faint blush creep onto his brother's cheeks.

The CEO sighed and chuckled a little as he pulled Mokuba into his lap. So much for getting anything done.

"I don't think that is something I can appropriately discuss with someone your age," he informed the younger boy, ruffling Mokuba's already messy dark hair. 

Mokuba titled his head back to grin up at his brother, face illuminated by the glow of the computer screen. "That means 'yes,'" he said knowingly.

"That means what it means," Seto informed him tonelessly, with a pointed Look. "And what's more, you don't need to be asking such questions of me. I remind you again that Anzu and I are not really _involved _in any kind of a romantic relationship at all. We're just posing as a couple until these vicious rumors blow over. Clear?"

"Of COURSE I'm clear," Mokuba said with both a smile and a sigh. "It was my idea, remember?"

"I remember," Seto conceded. "But you're treating this like it's a real date, Mokuba. Which I assure you I will _never _be going on, with anyone."

Mokuba shook his head. "You only say that **now**!" he replied.

Seto gently urged Mokuba off his lap. "I say that now and I'm going to stand by it later." 

Mokuba laughed. Seto lifted both eyebrows and the little boy's laughter began to die down. "S-Sorry," Mokuba said. He knew his brother always stood by what he said-- well, he knew his brother USUALLY stood by what he said, anyhow-- but he didn't like the idea of Seto not having anyone. Even though Seto had _him_, of course. But sometimes he wondered if his serious elder brother needed a companion his own age. Especially a pretty female companion who might loosen him up a little. 

Mokuba didn't really know if Anzu was the right pretty female companion for his brother, but who knew? Even if she _was _a friend of Yugi's and the boy his brother repeatedly equated with a dog. Only time would tell, really, if they were actually compatible underneath the apparent mutual dislike. (Although no matter what the older Kaiba insisted, two people with the same hair color could _so_ look good together.)

~

Seto was still working when the doorbell rang. He didn't immediately rise from his seat, and the doorbell rang a few times more, echoing through the large mansion until finally the young businessman snapped, "I'm coming!" even though he knew he couldn't be heard outside.

By the time he'd stormed to the door, however, Seto was mildly surprised to find Mokuba had already allowed Anzu in and was talking animatedly to her. "He says you have nice legs," Mokuba told a blinking Anzu, who apparently did not know what to make of the idea of the CEO complimenting her body.

"Really?" Anzu said finally, shooting a sly glance in the direction of Seto, who just scowled. "What else does he say about me?"

"Uh," Mokuba stammered. He glanced nervously in the direction of his brother, who just put a hand on his hip and waited for Mokuba to answer the girl's question. Mokuba looked back from Seto to Anzu, figuring that whatever he said now would have to be true. "He said you're a witch with a B." 

Seto facefaulted. The only thing worse than Mokuba 'repeating' things he hadn't said was Mokuba repeating things he actually had.

But Anzu seemed to take this well enough, yawning a bit and saying, "Your brother _would _say something like that."

"He also said--"

Now, Seto decided, would be an ideal time to intervene. "That Mokuba will have to stay with a real baby-sitter instead of at the game shop next time if he doesn't behave himself." Seto loathed leaving Mokuba at Yugi's grandfather's shop, but Mokuba seemed to like it there, and Seto would do nearly anything for his brother's happiness.

"He _is_ behaving himself," Anzu responded, patting Mokuba on the head. Mokuba decided she might make a decent big sister after all. 

Seto rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Now get your coat, Mokuba." It wasn't until then that Anzu noticed Seto wasn't wearing his-- his trademark tenchcoat. He was wearing the rest of his usual ensemble, but no trenchcoat-- although he ran up stairs, presumably to grab it.

Anzu found herself trying to decide if he looked better with or without the coat before she realized Mokuba was looking at her oddly and gave herself a mental slap. _Kaiba doesn't look better with or without the coat, _she tried to convince herself. _Kaiba looks like Kaiba no matter what he wears. It's one of his talents, in addition to being a huge jerk._

Anzu, for her part, and tried her best to follow Seto's suggestion at school and was wearing a simple black dress and a pair of sandals.

Mokuba grabbed his coat from the rack near the doorway, chattering about something. Anzu tried to focus on whatever it was he was yammering about, but she couldn't. Of course, Seto's voice cut through her reverie like a knife.

"Let's go," he said, having appeared downstairs again, trenchcoat on. "We'll drop Mokuba off at the game shop, I'll take you out to dinner, and then we'll go back and get him and we can call this whole miserable adventure a night."

"Just dinner?" Anzu ventured. "But I'd like to go to the movies."

'What would be the point of the movies?" Seto retorted, already holding the door open for Anzu and Mokuba. "It's dark. Nobody would see us. We're only doing this to be seen."

"Kids would see us," Anzu replied with a pout as she let Mokuba exit ahead of her. "People from school... they go to the movies a lot."

Seto snorted as he finally stepped out behind them both and let the door slam shut behind him. 

As he locked it, he said, "I have no concern for the idiots I happen to attend school with think of me. I'm doing this to get the media off my ass-- nothing more, nothing less. And all WORTHWHILE reporters have better things to do than hang around a theatre..."

Anzu sighed. "Fine, fine," she said. "Let's just go."

"Your wish is my command," Seto said sarcastically as Mokuba's hand found his. 

__

The two of them are not adorable standing there together like that, Anzu told herself.

**

****

Edit 04/26/2004 -- Thank you, **Azurite**, for pointing out a little mistake of mine regarding the way Seto addresses Mokuba.

**

CITRUS FRUIT CODE REFERENCE GUIDE!

For those who are interested and don't already know.

Lemon-- indicates a graphic sex scene, be it m/m, f/f, or m/f. Although it was originally used to denote strong homosexual content, it is now widely used to denote strong sexual content of any kind.

Lime-- Somewhere in the same vicinity. Usually indicates some sexual content/implications that are not as hardcore as in a lemon.

Lemon-Scented-- Hints at sex.

PWP-- Stands for Porn Without Plot or Plot? What Plot? and generally refers to a lemon that has no plot at all except for screwing.

Citrus-- Sexual content that is not as strong as in a lemon or a lime. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I'll own "Yu-Gi-Oh" when pigs fly. So if anyone needs me, I'll be in my secret laboratory, trying to brew a potion which shall enable pigs to fly.

Author's Note: Thanks to **ShinakaStar**, **Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**, **ma-au**, **Chi Yagami**, **deoki tenchi**, **Maia**, **Anime AngelWings**, **Lady Dragon 636**, **Geniusgirl; the Original**; **jarjayes**, **Ana**, **Cerulean no Hime**, **Serenity Komoshiro**, **wicked angel grls**, **Kerrie-chan**, **Little Priestess**, **PinkStarz**, **HieilovesBotan**, **PackLeaderT**_, _**GwenKeely**, **MotherChowGoddess**, **tea/anzufan**, **AkaVertigo**, **Trust,Faith,Pixidust**, **Azurite** (actually, where I come from, "witch with a B" is just a way to say "bitch" in a situation where 'the b-word' might not be appropriate), **Nina**. 

Chapter 7

They were about a quarter of the way to Yugi's when the elder of the Kaiba brothers voiced his concerns about the entire ordeal, but especially about leaving Mokuba in Yugi's care.

"I don't trust him," he said. "I don't think he and his idiotic grandfather have any idea how to take care of my brother."

Mokuba cuddled up to Seto's side and said placidly, with a little yawn, "It doesn't matter. I can take care of myself anyway."

Anzu crossed her arms over her chest. "They do so! And if you don't trust them, why are you even leaving him there?"

Seto glared at her. "I don't have any other options," he responded with a sneer. "If I could leave him someplace else, believe me, I would." After a brief pause, the CEO said, "And it's not as though I enjoy admitting to _you _that I'm accepting Yugi's charity, so perhaps if you were half as considerate as you like to think yourself to be, you'd just shut up already."

"You... you... !" Anzu huffed, arms suddenly at her sides, clenched into fists. Seto just smirked. Mokuba looked from one to the other, frowning and thinking this probably wasn't a good way to start their date.

"I... I... ?" Seto prompted, smirk widening.

"You need an attitude adjustment!" said Anzu. She slugged him lightly on the shoulder and turned her back to him.

"Hey," Mokuba said. "Don't hurt him, Anzu. My brother doesn't mean to upset you. Really."

"I'm not hurt, Mokuba," Seto protested. Anzu glanced over her shoulder in time to see an affectionate smile on Seto's lips. A sight that almost gave her a new soft spot for him, at least up until he said, "Besides, a weak female like that couldn't hurt _me_ if she tried."

Anzu fumed inwardly as she turned all the way around. Seto glanced in her direction with a smug expression before turning his attention back to Mokuba. 

Oh, how she would've enjoyed wiping that sneer right off his face!

She didn't know what she'd like to see in its place, though. Maybe an actual, genuine smile? 

Which might be too much to ask considering it was Seto who was being dealt with here, but still....

"Does your brother ever laugh in _non_-derogatory way?" Anzu asked Mokuba.

Mokuba blinked. "Huh? You mean like, when I tickle him?"

Tickle him? Wait, what? Seto was ticklish? Anzu never would have guessed....

And judging by the vaguely horror-stricken expression on his face, Seto never would have wanted her to. He pulled Mokuba even closer, as though he hoped his brother could protect him from whatever thoughts Anzu was now having.

"_You're _ticklish?" she asked.

"No," he replied. He stiffened a little and Anzu wondered if he was just annoyed-- or actually nervous.

"Yes you are," Mokuba said. "Especially when-- " Seto shushed him mid-sentence.

But it was enough information to entertain Anzu. "When _what_?" she wanted to know.

Seto glanced at his watch, and then out the window. "Hn. We're almost halfway to Yugi's," he said.

"Don't change the subject!" Anzu scolded, before scooting closer, poking him in the ribs.

Seto noticed the spark in her eye. "Don't. You. Dare," he said. Mokuba wriggled out of his older brother's lap and sat on the floor of the limo, looking up at both of them with an amused grin.

"Don't I dare what?" The false innocence in Anzu's voice struck a bad chord in Seto's head. He pushed himself away from her, pressing himself against the back of the seat. 

He narrowed his eyes threateningly. "You know exactly what."

Anzu pretended to be offended. "I do _not_," she said. "I mean, you can't possibly be talking about me not doing _this." _Then one of her hands shot forward with surprising quickness to dart under the CEO's coat and tickle his stomach.

"Don't!" he said, trying to curl himself into a ball. Anzu grinned and started to climb on top of him, tickling mercilessly. Seto giggled-- giggled! Of all the indignities! Giggling was for grade-school girls!-- and kicked involuntarily. He tried to wiggle out from under her but instead found himself laying on one of his own arms, with Anzu directly on top of him, sitting on his stomach and tickling his sides with both hands.

"Be nice!" she said. Seto shook his head furiously, inwardly hating Anzu for this. He really did loathe being tickled. He tried to shove her off with his free hand, but was forced to withdraw when she took the opportunity to tickle his exposed underarm. 

"Be nice!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Nev-- _ahh_!" She hit a particularly sensitive spot on his right side and he bucked, bringing his hand to his mouth in attempt to stifle his laughter.

"Come on! Just say you'll be nice to my friends and I'll stop...," she wheedled.

She didn't notice the limo pulling to a stop, but Seto did and shrieked, "Stop, stop!"

"Say it!" Anzu said, tickling harder.

"No-o-o! Just _stop_!" 

Mokuba glanced at them with undisguised amusement before opening the limousine door and climbing out. Seto tried to roll away from his tormentor, but found himself too debilitated from laughter to really struggle and cursed quietly under a gasping breath.

Anzu was thoroughly enjoying herself. He had a nice smile, she thought. It was only too bad a cold smirk normally held its place.

"I dunno if you guys know this, but you're doin' that the wrong way."

At the sound of Jonouchi's voice, Anzu abruptly stopped what she was doing. They'd been lying there, door open, with Anzu on top and Seto underneath her, his legs splayed as he kicked occasionally.

"He's s'posed to be on top." Jonouchi pointed. "Not that I'd expect Kaiba to know anything about sex, but-- "

As Seto tilted his head back to look at the people in front of him, Anzu had to wonder how long Yugi, Jonouchi, Mokuba and Yugi's grandfather had been watching them. She was already scrambling to get off when Seto violently pushed her aside, straightening himself up in a desperate attempt to reclaim his usual dignity.

All the same, he went out of his way to avoid making eye contact with any of the others.

"Behave yourself, Mokuba," he said, "and I'll see you soon." He paused briefly before saying, "And I know more about sex than you ever will, mutt." With that, he slammed the door, careful not to show any signs of the distress he was feeling at being seen in such a vulnerable position.

He glowered at Anzu. "Don't you **ever** do that to me again."

She nodded, blushing. "You... you know what you just said, don't you?"

"No. What?"

"'I know more about sex than you ever will, mutt,'" she repeated. "Don't you think that sounds kind of like... well, you know... like we... ?"

Seto's very-blue eyes widened. _"No," _he said. "Of course not!" But the expression on his face lead Anzu to believe otherwise.

---

"We should tail 'em," Jonouchi said, after Yugi's grandpa had gone inside the shop. "We should follow 'em. Mokuba knows where they're eatin', doesn't he?"

The younger Kaiba giggled and nodded. "Yeah!"

Yugi frowned. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said, the voice of reason in Anzu's absence. But the others' enthusiasm was catching.


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: Sadly for enough for me, I still don't own "Yu-Gi-Oh!"... even though my secret lab is full of flying pigs. Maybe I'll have to freeze hell over instead -- although Satan's pissed at me already over the whole soul incident, so perhaps that's not such a great idea.  
  
Author's Note: I... have... over... 140... reviews... ! (faints)  
  
Thank-yous go out to **Little Priestess**, **Nikki**, **HieilovesBotan**, **PinkStarz**, **fOX-SPIRIT AKA Y.V**, **Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**, **Azurite**, **Marin M**, **jarjayes**, **Masked Reviewer**, **Kaia Lawson**, **Lily of the Shadow**, **MotherChowGoddess**, **DarkShadowFlame**, **KeikoGurl**, **Burning Passion**, **LuCiFeR's DaUgHtEr**, **tea/anzufan**, **ShinakaStar**, **Vaz1201** **and Demona**, **Selena Style**, **Serenity Komoshiro**,** Kerrie-chan**, **Gwen Keely**, **deoki tenchi**, **Chi Yagami**, **Crystalline-Tears**, and **Mokuba's Official Glomper**.  
  
_Chapter 8_  
  
The comfort level of the booth she was sitting in with Kaiba surprised Anzu. For some reason, she'd expected such a stuffy, formal restaurant to have really unpleasant seating arrangements; stiff chairs and the like. But then again, maybe that was why Kaiba had specifically requested a booth? But Anzu tried to just shrug it off and just enjoy the moment.  
  
Which, despite the comfortable booth, was difficult.  
  
For one thing, she was with Kaiba, who was even grumpier than he'd been at school. She supposed it was partially her fault, especially since he'd mumbled something about how tickling should be made illegal. And for another thing, the place was dimly lit, full of expensive decorations and statuettes, adorned with red velvet in the most illogical places -- the restaurant had an 'expensive' air to it that made Anzu feel out of place.  
  
Her dining companion wasn't helping.  
  
"It costs more money to eat here than a starving artist type like you will ever see in her lifetime," he said as they both sat down. Maybe he was getting revenge. Or maybe he was just being himself. Either way, Seto's words made Anzu more uncomfortable.  
  
_I can't screw this up,_ she thought, _I'm already out of my element here. It'll only be worse if I make a fool of myself._  
  
The menus came, and Anzu took hers with some hesitation, smiling bashfully at the waiter -- who was young, and cute, and smiled right back. Seto tried to push back a sudden surge of jealousy, wondering where it had even come from.  
  
When the waiter departed, Seto said harshly to Anzu, "Do you know what you want?"  
  
"Umm... not yet." Smiling to herself, Anzu leisurely pried open the menu.  
  
---  
  
"And just who ARE you all?" the hostess deadpanned, hands on her hips. Her brow was arched and she didn't seem amused by any of the various stories Yugi, Jonouchi, Honda, Bakura and Mokuba had spewed at her.  
  
Honda and Bakura had been lounging in the back of the shop upon Anzu and Kaiba's arrival, although Jonouchi had wasted no time in telling them everything and attempting to recruit their help in 'tailing' Anzu and Seto. Honda had readily agreed and Bakura, although he'd had his qualms and stammeringly voiced them, was won over by the others' good-natured enthusiasm quickly.  
  
"We're, uh...," Mokuba started, and swallowed. "Well, I can tell you we're allowed in! We're with Kaiba Seto. I'm his brother -- I'm Kaiba Mokuba."  
  
"Why don't we just take you to Mr. Kaiba himself and have him tell us who you all are?" she suggested darkly.  
  
Mokuba bit his lip while Jonouchi and Yugi exchanged a glance, Honda swallowed and Bakura squirmed.  
  
Uh-oh.  
  
--  
  
Kaiba nudged Anzu in the ribs, glowering. "Why did you do that?" he demanded heatedly.  
  
"Do what?" Anzu said, genuinely confused. Their menus had already been taken, but their food at not yet arrived.  
  
"Smiled at the waiter like you weren't attached." He almost sounded... sulky? But that was impossible. Anzu just couldn't picture a sulky Kaiba.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "He smiled at me first! It would've been rude not to smile back. Besides," she pointed out, "I'm not attached."  
  
Kaiba just crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. It was almost cute.  
  
No, no -- it WAS cute, if only because it wasn't at all Kaibalike.  
  
Anzu finally turned away from Kaiba, smiling, but immediately turned back. "We're... we're being stared at!" she whispered.  
  
"Of course we are," he said. "You are with _me_, remember?" The arrogance in his voice was enough to make Anzu want to smack him.  
  
Just then the hostess arrived. "Excuse me," she said. "But these five gentlemen claim to know you. Is that true?"  
  
Yugi and Jonouchi waved shyly from behind the woman, Honda stared at the ceiling and Bakura looked at his feet.  
  
Kaiba's tone had gone from arrogant to murderous. "Yes, I know them! But I only see four," he said. "Are you trying to insult my intelligence?"  
  
"No!" the hostess said hastily. "I -- there was five just a minute ago -- a little one, I swear he was here -- said he was your brother -- "  
  
"What?" Kaiba rose from his chair, startling the poor hostess. "My brother?!" Upon remembering he was being watched by half the restaurant, he lowered his voice a little. "That is impossible. My brother is with that fellow's" -- a gesture in Yugi's generally direction -- "grandfather."  
  
"Well -- all the same," the hostess said, "there WAS another young man. And he said his name was Mokuba!"  
  
For a second Kaiba looked like he was on the verge of a heart attack. "He -- it couldn't be -- I don't believe...."  
  
Suddenly a little boy with scraggly hair came barreling toward them, an angry cook chasing him and waving a frying pan. "AND YOU STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN AND AWAY FROM FOOD THAT'S NOT YOURS!" the cook warned as Mokuba, forgetting he'd gone in the kitchen to hide from Seto in the first place, clung fiercely to his brother's legs.  
  
Anzu rose too, gently touching Kaiba's arm. The restaurant had gone deathly quiet now, except for the enraged frying pan-waver.  
  
"Mr. Kaiba," the red-faced cook spat, "I'll be expecting you to PAY for everything he ATE!"  
  
"Half a piece of cheesecake," Mokuba snapped, although he didn't let go of his sibling's legs. For a half a second, everything was quite and oddly tense. Then --  
  
"THE MILLENNIUM PUZZLE IS MINE!"  
  
Dark Bakura was pursuing Dark Yugi -- or was it the other way around? -- through the restaurant.  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY, TOMBROBBER!"  
  
"YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD, PHARAOH!"  
  
Mokuba screamed. Anzu screamed. Half the women in the place screamed. They ran into the kitchen and the cook screamed.  
  
_They're the ones running around the restaurant acting like psychotic freaks,_ Kaiba thought, _so why is everybody staring at me?_


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimer: I don't own "Yu-Gi-Oh!". If I owned "Yu-Gi-Oh!," then... uh... I guess I'd own "Yu-Gi-Oh!"

Author's Note: Thanks to **HieilovesBotan**, **AkaVertigo**, **Serenity Komoshiro**, **Little Priestess**, **PinkStarz**, **Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**, **Elusia**, **jarjayes**, **Azurite**, **Trust,Faith,andPixidust**, **goddesskali**, **deoki tenchi**, **mezu**, **Anime-AngelWings**, **GwenKeely**, **gladdecease**,** DarkShadowFlame**, **Kerrie-chan**, **Santurion2**, **Evanescense**

_Chapter 9_

Washing dishes, repairing second-rate utensils, sweeping floors. Like a common maid. How humiliating.

It had been bad enough, Kaiba decided, to stand by helplessly, face redder than a stop sign, while the makeinu pointed out, "Hey, look! Kaiba's blushin'!"

It had been bad enough to have the entire restaurant staring at him, even though he **clearly** had no control over the split-personality dolts that were running amok and destroying the place.

It had been bad enough to hear some people screaming and other people laughing.

It had been bad enough to imagine what the tabloids were going to do when they got a hold of the entire fiasco.

It had been bad enough to hear cameras go off and want nothing more than to sink into the floor or disappear.

But now he and Anzu were being forced to wash dishes. Because, although the restaurant gladly accepted Kaiba's offer of enough money to repair the damages, they refused to agree that it was adequate compensation for having driven so many people out and possibly damaged the establishment's reputation.

"So many" indeed! It was only two or three -- the restaurant was full of rubbernecks! And it was _Kaiba's _reputation that was truly being damaged.

Kaiba and Anzu were alone, which at least meant that Kaiba wouldn't have to put up with her stupid friends for the remainder of the evening.

They hadn't trusted Yugi or Bakura to wash dishes, even when they regained control of their bodies and hence began behaving normally again.

Mokuba had been dismissed as "too young" to be held responsible for himself -- although he was still lectured about taking things that didn't belong to him, first by Seto, then by the cook, then by hostess, who didn't really do as much lecturing as she did outright bitching.

Honda and Jonouchi were also free to go, as they hadn't really done anything -- well, except talk back to the hostess, who informed them that if she ever saw them anywhere near the restaurant again, she was calling the cops and having them removed from the premises. And they'd looked at each other grinned, a pair of co-conspirators plotting ways to get under this woman's skin.

It annoyed Seto that they took their punishment so well, while he still felt like crawling underneath a rock and dying. But then again, he doubted it was the first time Jonouchi and Honda had ever been banned from anywhere, whereas Seto was certainly unaccustomed to such public embarrassment.

Mokuba was sent home with the four older boys.

As they were walking out, he curtly informed Jonouchi and Honda that they'd best keep Mokuba far, far away from either Yugi or Bakura at the risk of dismemberment. He definitely didn't trust the two of them near his brother after their earlier display....

Which left Seto and his "little girlfriend" as the cook referred to Anzu to clean up the mess Yugi and Bakura had made.

Well, at least _these_ people didn't think he was gay.

Seto didn't sigh as he cleaned dish after dish, nor did he say anything. He was always good at maintaining an unemotional facade and this was no exception.

Maybe it was the tomato-like state of his face earlier, but Anzu seemed to guess something was wrong anyway.

"Lighten up," she said as she swept the floor. "It's not that bad."

"No, it's not. It's horrifically worse." He stubbornly refused to look at her as he ran a dish underneath the water, even when she leaned her head on his shoulder. How anyone could be so good-natured about kitchen duty, Seto supposed he'd never know.

Anzu pulled away from him. "Oh, please. You don't think Yugi and Bakura are as embarrassed about this whole mess as you are?" She stopped sweeping and dropped the broom, putting her hands on her hips in the typical _I'm-a-girl-so-I-know-better-than-you-do _stance.

Seto didn't reply. He just ran the dish under the water for a consecutive third time.

"I think that one's clean," Anzu said.

Still no reply.

So she giggled, grabbed Kaiba's dishtowel and snapped it against his bum.

He dropped the plate, jumping about three feet in the air when it shattered on the floor. "Dammit, Mazaki, look what you made me do!"

Anzu giggled again. The next thing she knew, an irritated Kaiba was cupping his hands underneath the faucet and stuck a finger up the spout to squirt whatever in her direction. She screamed and held her hands in front of her face to shield herself from the spray, an effort that did very little actual good. "Don't! Kaiba! I'll get all **wet!"**

The businessman sneered. "No shit, Sherlock."

Anzu protested, taking a few steps back. "Don't! You can't! This dress is expensive -- and if you drench it -- "

"If I drench it I'll buy you a new one," he replied, although he stopped squirting long enough to smirk and say, "Hmm. I must concede it's a pity you're not wearing something _white."_

"Kaiba!" Anzu shrieked, attacking him with the towel once again. The sting apparently reminded Kaiba he was supposed to be embarrassed and miserable, because he went back to tacitly washing dishes without squirting anybody.

_Damn, _Anzu thought. _I was so close to getting him in at least a slightly better mood...._

Anzu blinked. She took a step toward, glancing at the young businessman to gauge his reaction to her movement. If he even noticed it, of course.

He didn't. But Anzu knew exactly how to get his attention. She flung her wet body against his, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Get away from me!" Kaiba complained. "You're freezing!"

"You squirted me!" Anzu snuggled closer to the annoyed boy, nuzzling his neck.

"Get off!" He shoved her away with an alarming force.

Anzu faked a pout. "Rejecting my advances, Kaiba-kun?" Coyly, she ran a hand through her sopping wet hair.

"Don't come near me," Kaiba said, "you're wet." Anzu was pleasantly surprised when he grinned a little and stepped away from the sink, but not before grabbing another dish and holding it out to defend himself with. "I mean it. Don't make me break another one, Mazaki."

"No fair!" Anzu said. "You're cheating!"

Seto shook his head, laughing. "I am not -- to cheat, you have to break the rules. And since we never established any rules...."

_At least I've got him laughing now, _Anzu thought.

And at any rate, he kind of had a point. But that worked just fine... "Oh. Okay. Well, if there aren't any rules," Anzu said devilishly, "then I can _tickle_ you again -- " The girl took a few threatening steps forward.

"Not if you can't catch me," Kaiba replied, and before Anzu could really comprehend what was happening, Kaiba had tossed his plate back into the sink and was halfway across the kitchen.

She giggled and shouted at him before taking off in hot pursuit. But Kaiba was apparently used to running from people -- he always managed to say two steps ahead of Anzu, anyway. As they ran in circles around the large kitchen, he always managed to stay on the opposite side of the room while carefully keeping her in his line of sight.

"Get back here! Or I'm going to tell Jonouchi and Honda and Yugi and everybody at school that you ran from a _girl!" _Anzu threatened, sticking her tongue out.

"Pardon me, I was unaware **you **count as a girl," Seto responded, making a face too.

Anzu gasped. "You jerk!" Pause. Her offended expression slowly dissolved into a devious smirk as she said, "But you're obviously attracted to me! Does that mean you ARE gay, after all?!"

Completely straight-faced, the CEO said, "Nobody's attracted to you, and actually, I'm bye-sexual."

"Bisexual? Really?" Anzu was taken aback.

Seto chuckled, and there was something resembling a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. "Oh, yes -- as soon as I have sex with a woman, I tell her, 'Go away! Bye!'"

_"Oh _-- ! That's not funny! You chauvinistic pig!" But Anzu grinned as she darted forward.

Kaiba took a few steps back, unperturbed. But Lady Luck, being a woman herself, was apparently on Anzu's side as Kaiba suddenly slipped on a spot where he himself had spilt water on the floor earlier. Finding himself sprawled on the slick white tile, Kaiba hastily tried to scramble to his feet, but it was too late -- Anzu had already draped herself over him by then.

He was vaguely aware that she was still wet and freezing, but that was no longer his chief concern about having Anzu on top of him. She clung fast, but Kaiba squirmed relentlessly. He was _not _going to allow himself to be tickle-tortured twice in the same day -- twice in the same evening, even!

But Anzu didn't tickle him. Instead, she purred, "Seto-san," as she brought her face close to his.

He narrowed his eyes, blushing a little. "Don't call me that," he said. "Only Mokuba is allowed to call me tha -- "

And then her lips pressed against his. It was a decidedly more pleasant sensation without an entire classroom of students watching. (Not that it had been totally unpleasant even WITH the students watching -- far from it.)

Through the kiss, Kaiba mumbled something about that not being fair.

Anzu smiled as she pulled away. "All's fair in love and war," she said.

"But this isn't either," said Kaiba.

Anzu's smile widened. "You're wrong -- this is both." And without further warning, her soft lips met Kaiba's once again.

His protests, muffled and half-hearted at first, quickly dissipated entirely.


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: No, Hell _hasn't_ frozen over yet. Why do you ask?

Author's Note: Thanks to **Bunny Meatball/Odango Usagi**, **Yami) White Rain**, **Kerrie-chan**, **PinkStarz**, **Choas Babe**, **Azurite**, **Mother Chow Goddess **(see? I didn't forget the plate!), **deoki tenchi**, **Lily of the Shadow**, **HieilovesBotan**, **goddesskali**, **DarkShadowFlame**, **GwenKeely**, **gamergal20**, **Geniusgirl; The Original**, **Chi Yagami**, **AkaVertigo**, **fOX-SPIRIT AKA Y.V**, **Tears**, **gladdecease**, **Deena70**, **Anime-AngelWings**, **Hikari**, **KeikoGurl**, **Suheil373**, **lavender skies**, **tea/anzufan**, **Tandy**, **Jellybob15**, **Cocoa1331**, **IcyDragontears**, **Goddess Hikari**, **devilishlytricky**, and **Banshee-Forest**!

Chapter 10

One of Seto's feet touched the broken glass pieces near them and the soft, barely audible noise of the glass scraping against the hard floor reminded them where they were, and the kiss broke. As Anzu pulled away, breathless, Kaiba shoved her off and hurriedly scrambled to his feet, but bent over once again to pick up the pieces of the dish.

Anzu stood too, grinning widely and fanning herself with her right hand. Her face was flushed and, though he turned away to hide it, she noticed Kaiba's was too as he paused from picking up the dish pieces to awkwardly rub his arm.

Anzu cleared her throat, hoping to break the increasingly unpleasant silence. Despite the feelings of awkwardness hanging in the air, the brunette was pleased with herself. That was twice in one day the normally stoic CEO found himself hot and bothered.

And this time it was entirely because of her.

Kaiba slowly dropped the pieces into the sink before turning to face Anzu, trying to maintain as much of his dignity as possible. "We still have work to do," he said levelly. And then he added, as disdainfully as he could manage, "So get back to sweeping."

Anzu twitched and raised an eyebrow. Did he just talk to her like she was his personal servant? All right, so he tended to talk to everyone like they were his personal servant. But all the same, no overbearing male idiot was going to tell Anzu Mazaki to sweep up like a common servant.

"Excuse me?" she said.

"You heard me," Kaiba retorted. "Sweep."

"You are not going to tell me what to d-- !"

"You can leave now," the cook said, interrupting Anzu's sentence. He was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, looking grumpy and almost haggard.

"They said we could go?" Anzu was surprised. They weren't even halfway finished yet! "We can really go? The manager really said we could leave now?"

"Who cares about the manager?" the cook snapped. "**I** don't want you stupid kids messin' around in MY kitchen anymore. Now get out!" He gestured over his shoulder to the doorway. His voice was almost a growl -- either the cook got his kicks trying to scare teenagers or he REALLY cared about his kitchen. Probably both.

Anzu gently tugged on Kaiba's arm, hoping to guide him out the door without incident before the cook discovered they'd broken a plate.

Kaiba refused to budge. "I can't just walk back through there!" he said, sounding appalled that anyone would even suggest it.

Anzu smiled sympathetically. Gently she took one of Kaiba's hands in her own and patted it, before turning to the cook. "Sir, is there some kind of back exit we could use? My friend doesn't want to go out that way. He's all embarrassed about what happened so he's decided to act like a big baby."

That was enough to make Kaiba forcefully grip Anzu's hand and tug her right out of the kitchen -- though not before pausing to hiss in the cook's ear, "You'll never work in this town again, man!" -- right through the restaurant amid all the patrons and right into the street.

"Big baby _indeed," _he said once they were standing outside.

Anzu ignored him. "It's a beautiful night."

"It's a night like any other. I fail to recognize what's supposed to be so beautiful about it."

Anzu skipped down the sidewalk a little bit, but stopped when she realized the long dinner dress wasn't good for skipping. "Look at the sky. It's so clear. You can see the stars." She paused, blatantly staring at the heavens.

"If you're trying to distract me from what happened, it's not going to work."

Anzu sighed, bringing her gaze back down to him. _"Fine. _Be that way. Mope if you want to!"

Kaiba glowered at her. "Let's just call the limousine back and get out of here." There was a brief pause. "And I do **not **mope."

Anzu knew better than to argue with him. So she just smiled up at him -- she was tempted to lean against him but that might be like just asking to be left here without a ride -- and, catching sight of a bright building across the street, started softly, "Let's go dancing." Her eyes lit up as she spoke the last word, but Kaiba, turned away, didn't see it.

"Dancing?" He snorted as he reached for his pager.

"Yeah! It'll be fun. Come on, Kaiba, _pleeease."_

"No, thank you." The businessman was already in the process of paging the limo driver. "I've been humiliated enough for one night, Mazaki."

"Kaiba!"

"No. Now stop it and let me -- " He turned, irritably, to tell her off to her face and found a pair of adorably wide eyes peering up at him out of the murky blackness. Since when had Anzu been so good at mimicking Mokuba?

"Please, Kaiba?" she said. There was a slight whimper in her voice that made her all the more endearing.

He relented. "All right, all right!" He sighed and closed his eyes, putting his pager back in the pocket where it belonged. "No one is ever going to look at me the same way again anyhow, I suppose."

Anzu grinned widely, pleased with herself, and stood on her tiptoes to put an arm around his shoulder and say, in her best imitation of a man's voice, "Now is that really such a bad thing?" She didn't know if he'd be amused -- or if, for that matter, Kaiba was EVER amused -- but hey, it was worth a try, right?

Kaiba's face twitched and for a second he almost threatened to smile, in spite of himself. But then he looked away, apparently unwilling to drop his spoiled-little-kid bit.

Anzu laughed out loud as she pulled away, reaching around to give him a light pat on the ass before running off toward the dance club, leaving Kaiba to wonder just how he would ever get on with his life again after this.

And how he was going to convince Anzu that nobody went around giving Seto Kaiba an open-palm smack on the butt! (What _was _it with that girl and his rear end, anyhow?)


End file.
